Up Sticks

It’ll be interesting in these tricky times to see what happens to the UK’s residential property market in places that were touted in the good old days – only a few months back - as being super-smart places to buy or to rent for sky-high prices that left locals gasping.

Such places as the Lake District, the West Country, north Norfolk or the Suffolk coast, the latter boasting Southwold and Aldeburgh – or, a mile or two inland, the little market town of Framlingham, with its good-looking public-school, Framlingham College, set serenely on a hill which overlooks a reed-fringed mere and a ruined castle.

When everything was rocketing the second home market was buoyant. Spend your bonus on a nice little snip in north Norfolk, around Brancaster, Thornham, or Burnham Market.
It’s all flint and pantiles and before the invasion of four-wheel drives and gaggles of bankers in new wellies and barbours it had an unspoiled, undiscovered charm.

But then the second-homers arrived. Every barn owl took to the wing when their natural habitats were converted. Simple hostelries became gastro-pubs. Locals call them gastro-enteritis pubs; ambition exceeding culinary capabilities. Property prices went through the roof and whole villages came to life on a Friday and died again on Sunday evening when the incomers swept back to London or Brum in fleets of Beemers and Range Rovers.

Or there’s Southwold in Suffolk – home to Adnams beer and rocketing property prices, where second-homers gazumped each other for beach huts. Aldeburgh, immortalised by Ben Britten and Peter Pears, and slightly less-smart Leiston.

But fings ain’t wot they used to be. Will the brayin’ Triumphalists be routed? What goes first? The school fees or the country cottage? The mortgage on the house in Notting Hell – where you actually live – or the rural bolt-hole which costs you a fortune in petrol every time you jump in the Volvo and make the trek out of town, with the kids in the back saying they don’t want to go anyway because the country is always so boring?

So for the brave and the sharp-eyed who still fancy a bit of greenery there could be a few bargains. Or maybe there won’t be a great exodus. Perhaps redundant Triumphalists will have had their fill of Town and head for the sticks on a permanent basis, flogging the main house, chewing on straw, keeping goats and growing their own fruit and veg?

In places like Aldeburgh if the collapsing property prices don’t get you – the sea will. It’s an area which the government appears to have practically written off.

So if you’re determined to buy in Southwold or Aldeburgh, Brancaster or even Burnham Market, it’s worth observing a few rules. It’s always best to rent property in the area before you buy. This gives you a chance to have a good look round, to find out what the pitfalls might be. Have a word with the environmental agencies. You don’t want to find yourself all at sea. And there’s no point in trying to play King Canute. Thirdly, check up with the insurance companies. Are they banging up the prices of their policies?

Oh, and don’t forget your life-rings.