Forget property. Join the State Circus

Forget becoming a property mogul. Or building a buy to let business. Or working your tail off and worrying yourself sick seven days a week as an estate agent, surveyor or architect. Who wants to run risks and create businesses and employ people? It’s old hat.

The way to get rich now is to be a non-producer. Rollup! Rollup ! The State Circus is back in town. In fact, come to think of it, it never actually left.

Banks and crises may come and go. Unemployment might grow from two million and be heading for three million. Pensions have collapsed and savings accounts are a joke and the stock market’s a blood bath.

But hey! It’s your own fault. You were all Silly Billies and you should have chosen to work in local or central government .While all around is chaos and mayhem the state sector forges ahead through stormy waters like the Titanic amid a sea of ice floes.

The salaries in the State sector are still nice and juicy. Here are a just a few jobs on offer which the tax payer will be paying for ( as well banks and bankers and bonuses).

You could be on £70,000 a year as the Vice Principal Finance at Milton Keynes College. But that’s at the modest end of the market.

Become Service Delivery Director (don’t ask) of something called the Security Industry Authority and you’d be on £85k a year. As chief executive you’d be on £120,000 pa.

The SIA comes under the Home Office. They’re probably tough jobs because civil unrest is just around the corner. It will be triggered by bankers, bonuses, Peers on the make, Whitehall Mandarins and their perks, whistle-blowers being sacked for telling the truth and yes, you’ve guessed it, big wages for jobs in the public sector and regulatory bodies.

So what else is on offer? How about being Assistant Director Tenant Services in Manchester. It comes under the Tenant Services Authority, whatever that might be. You’re only the assistant but you should be able to scrape by on £95k pa.

In fact, you could be any of the following in Manchester or London with each job paying £95k a year: Assistant Director Tenant Services; Assistant Director Supply; Assistant Director Choice; Assistant Director Market Intelligence (you could do that in Cambridge too) Assistant Director Planning, Policy & QA (again, don’t ask; I don’t know either).

Why not jump on the Green gravy train? It’s an express. Get aboard in Newham, east London, as Executive Director Environment Olympic Games and you’ll be on £135k a year. You’ll need an ‘athletic mind .. a social entrepreneur who can catalyse change .. the strategic capacity to realise the ambitions of a broad place shaping agenda.’

One wonders how much Newham would pay somebody to write their advertisements in the Queen’s English?